I’m Kayla. I wrote my vows last spring. I thought I’d be cool and calm. I was not. I cried in my car. I rewrote them three times. I also found a rhythm that worked. You know what? It can feel hard. But it doesn’t have to be a mess.
For a little extra professional backup, The Knot’s comprehensive tips for writing your own wedding vows outline everything from brainstorming questions to final edits.
If you’re still gathering ideas, my candid breakdown of the very best vows I reviewed (and eventually used) is right here in my first-person roundup of the best wedding vows.
Here’s my honest take, plus real vow examples you can copy or tweak.
Quick game plan (how this rolls)
- What I tried and what I’d skip next time
- A simple, step-by-step way to write vows
- Real vow examples in different styles
- A fill-in template you can use today
- Day-of tips so you don’t freeze at the mic
Want to watch me experiment with totally different structures? I actually wrote my vows three different ways before landing on the version you’ll read below.
What I used and how it went
I treated vow writing like a mini project. A tiny one. Here’s what helped me, and what didn’t.
If you want a deeper dive into real couples’ wording and editor-approved tips, check out VT Vows for a stash of inspiration you can swipe.
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Promptly Vow Journal
- What I liked: The prompts were clear. Stuff like “When did you know?” or “What do you promise for hard days?” It got me out of a blank page.
- What bugged me: The pages felt a bit small. I needed room for messy notes.
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Vow Muse session (one hour on Zoom)
- What I liked: A real person asked smart questions. She pulled little stories out of me. Then I had lines I could actually use.
- What bugged me: Pricey for one session. Worth it if you’re stuck, though.
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Google Docs + Grammarly
- What I liked: Easy edits. Clean typos fast. I tracked changes like a nerd.
- What bugged me: It made me overthink tone at first. I had to turn off the fussy stuff and keep my voice.
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Voice Memos on my phone
- What I liked: I could hear my pace. I cut a lot after I heard myself ramble.
- What bugged me: I hated my voice on playback. Still useful.
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Index cards on the day
- What I liked: No glare like a phone. I could hold them and breathe.
- What bugged me: None. Cards won the day.
If you and your partner start trading vow drafts (or a little flirty encouragement) back and forth in your favorite chat app while you polish the final version, you might appreciate the practical guidance packed into the Kik Sex Handbook—it covers privacy best practices, consent cues, and creative message ideas so your pre-wedding texting stays fun, safe, and totally stress-free.
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Hearing each draft out loud also reminded me of the tests I ran when I tweaked and read multiple vow drafts aloud—spoiler, some formats fell flat until I spoke them.
The simple method that finally worked for me
Here’s the thing. I kept trying to write “perfect.” That froze me. This unlocked it for me (okay, not that word—this “opened it up” for me):
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Gather tiny stories
- Make a 10-minute list. First date. A hard week you got through. A weird habit you now love. One travel moment.
- Pick one story that shows why you choose them.
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Choose 3 promises
- One for daily life.
- One for hard times.
- One for growth or joy.
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Write a simple opening line
- Say their name. Say how you feel. Keep it under two lines.
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Add the story, then the promises
- Story first, then promises. It flows like talk, not a speech.
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Cut it to 60–90 seconds
- Read out loud. Cut extra words. If you wouldn’t say it at brunch, cut it.
Want another perspective? Vogue’s chic guide on how to write wedding vows distills the process into stylish, succinct advice that's perfect if you’re short on time.
Before I settled on this five-step path, I experimented with eight totally different vow-writing approaches and learned what actually moves an audience.
Bonus: Share tone limits
- My rule: one joke max, no inside jokes no one gets, nothing I wouldn’t say with Grandma in the front row.
Timeline that kept me sane
- 6 weeks out: Brain dump stories.
- 3 weeks: First draft. Don’t aim for pretty.
- 1 week: Final draft. Read it out loud three times.
- Night before: Print on cards. Big font. Deep breath.
Real vow examples you can use
Steal lines. Mix and match. Make it yours.
If your partner is a groom looking for language that still feels genuine, send him over to my test run of how to write groom vows (with real samples) for even more wording ideas.
Short and classic
- “Avery, you are my home and my best friend.
I promise to show up, even on messy days.
I promise to listen with care, not just wait to talk.
I promise to choose us, over and over, for all my days.”
Light and funny, but sweet
- “Maya, I love you more than Saturday pancakes, and that says a lot.
I promise to keep your coffee full and your heart safe.
I promise to laugh at your dad jokes, at least once.
I promise to hold your hand in storms and in checkout lines.”
Modern and non-religious
- “Jordan, I choose you today and every day after.
I promise to be kind when it’s easy and when it’s not.
I promise to build a life that fits us, not anyone else’s plan.
With honesty and care, I’m yours.”
Spiritual, gentle tone
- “Sam, you are a gift I thank God for each morning.
I promise to pray with you and for you.
I promise to love with patience, courage, and joy.
With faith and with hope, I give you my whole heart.”
Second marriage, with tenderness
- “Rae, we know life can bend and break and heal.
I promise to honor what came before and still choose this new life with you.
I promise steady love, honest words, and warm meals when days are rough.
I’m here, fully, and I will stay.”
Blended family, to partner and kids
- “Luis, I promise to love you and the family we share.
To Mateo and Sol, I promise to show up, to cheer loud, to listen soft.
I promise a home where your stories are safe and your dreams are heard.
Together, we are a team.”
Queer love, proud and clear
- “Taylor, loving you feels like sunlight after rain.
I promise to stand with you, in joy and in the fight for what is right.
I promise to build a life that is brave, tender, and true.
You are my person. I am yours.”
Bilingual sprinkle
- “Ana, you are my heart, mi corazón.
I promise to keep learning your language and your ways, and to share mine.
I promise to love you con paciencia y con gracia, today and always.”
When health is part of your story
- “Chris, we both know hard days.
I promise to show up with care, to ask what you need, and to listen for what you don’t say.
I promise to celebrate the good and hold your hand through the rest.
We face it together.”
Micro vows (for shy speakers)
- “Nate, I choose you.
I promise to be kind, to be honest, and to stay.
You are my favorite part of every day.”
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