I’ll be honest. Writing my vows scared me more than the big crowd. What do you say when your voice shakes and your heart feels loud? I tried three paths, used real tools, and yes, I cried in the kitchen. Twice. Here’s what helped me say the right words at the right time—and the actual vows I wrote and tested. (If you want the blow-by-blow of those three paths, I laid it all out in this three-way vow experiment.)
Quick Backstory (And Why I Needed Help)
I’m a words person at work, but love makes my sentences trip. I wanted vows that sounded like me. Not a greeting card. Not a rom-com. Just us—messy, real, kind. I tried pen and paper first, then a workbook, then a pro service for a polish. Odd choice? Maybe. But it calmed me down. If you need a stash of ready-made lines to riff on, my showdown with the best wedding vows I could find might spark something fast.
What I Used—And How It Felt
1) Field Notes + a Uni-ball pen
I carried a tiny Field Notes notebook in my bag for a month. I’d jot lines on the train, in line for coffee, after a fight, after a hug. Raw stuff. Some lines were awful. Some were gold.
- Pros: Felt human; caught small memories fast.
- Cons: Pages looked wild; hard to see a clear path.
That scribble-first approach was only one of the eight tactics I put through the wringer during a separate eight-way vow-writing challenge.
2) A vow workbook (VowMuse Express)
I booked VowMuse’s express service. They sent prompts, I sent stories, and they shaped a draft. We went back and forth once. It didn’t sound like “a writer.” It sounded like a braver me. Price stung a bit, but I slept better. If you want an outside peek at how this ghost-writing approach started, SFGate profiled the team and their process here.
- Pros: Fast, warm, and not cheesy.
- Cons: Costs money; you still need to tweak to sound like you.
If you’re considering adding overt scripture or church language, I took a similar workbook route in my test of using biblical wedding vows—the prompts surprised me in the best way.
3) Google Docs + Grammarly + Hemingway
I pasted my draft into Google Docs. My sister left comments in Suggesting mode. Grammarly caught my typos. Hemingway helped me trim long lines. Reading out loud was still the real test.
- Pros: Clean copy; fewer rambly parts.
- Cons: Tools can’t feel tone; your mouth test matters more.
Side note: if you and your partner end up trading these drafts during late-night planning sessions, you might slide from Docs into Hangouts to keep the conversation (ahem) interesting. This detailed Google Hangouts sexting walkthrough shows exactly how to add privacy settings, playful prompts, and screenshot-proof tricks that make digital flirt-sessions feel as safe as they are spicy.
4) Linen vow booklets (Uncommon Goods)
I wrote the final lines by hand in small linen books. I added page numbers because my fingers shake. It looked sweet in photos. It also kept me from scrolling.
- Pros: Calm, pretty, and no tech panic.
- Cons: Don’t use a gel pen that smears. Ask me how I know.
One last tool I loved: a quick spin through the real-wedding archives on VT Vows sparked half a page of new lines before I even picked up my pen.
What Worked Best (For Me)
Starting rough on paper, then using a workbook to shape things, then trimming in Docs. That mix gave me heart and structure. I tried jokes in the first draft. I cut half. It made the real joke land.
You know what? I didn’t expect the workbook to push me. One prompt asked, “When did you choose them, not just love them?” I wrote about the night we burned dinner and ate cereal on the floor. That line stayed.
Real Vow Examples You Can Steal, Bend, or Borrow
Use them as a base. Swap the details. Read them out loud. If your mouth trips, trim a word.
1) Short and sweet (30 seconds)
“I choose you. I choose your good days and your tired days. I’ll wash the mugs; you’ll fix the squeaky door. I’ll listen when it’s hard. I’ll speak when it’s needed. I’ll keep choosing you, today and every day.”
Want to be sure that classic “for better, for worse, in sickness and in health” still feels honest? Here’s my real-life road test of how those iconic vows hold up.
2) Playful, a little nerdy
“I promise to share the blanket and the last fry. I’ll cheer for your team, even when they make it weird. I’ll try not to spoil shows, even when the plot twist sits on my tongue. I’ll hold your hand in storms, and in checkout lines. You’re my favorite plot twist.”
If you’re hunting for lines that guarantee tears, the ones in my most emotional vow experiment did the trick on four separate test audiences—bring tissues.
3) Heartfelt and detailed
“I loved you fast, but I chose you slow. I chose you on the night the power went out and we ate cereal by phone light. I chose you when we moved boxes in the rain and laughed at the soggy pizza. I promise to ask the extra question. I promise to say what I feel, even when my voice shakes. I promise to make a home that smells like coffee and sounds like clean laughter. Take my hand. We’ll keep building.”
4) Faith-forward, simple
“Before God and our people, I vow to love you as Christ loves us—patient and kind. I’ll pray with you in joy and in grief. I’ll serve with you and forgive as I am forgiven. With grace as our guide, I give you my heart, my days, my yes.”
Need even more inspiration in that vein? Here’s my candid review of using Christian wedding vows start to finish.
5) Secular, poetic but clear
“You are my steady note in a loud room. With you, the small things glow—warm bread, a soft couch, a late walk. I’ll meet you in honesty. I’ll meet you in rest. I’ll keep room for your growth and for mine. Let’s be brave and gentle at once.”
6) LGBTQ+, chosen family
“I found home in your laugh first. Then your arms. You are my person, not by luck, but by choice. To our chosen family, you taught me what safe feels like. I vow to protect that safety, to share it, and to keep the door open wide. I am yours, loud and quiet.”
7) Blended family, to partner and kids
“I love you, and I care for us. I also make this vow to [Child’s Name]: I’ll show up for school nights and silly nights. I’m not here to replace; I’m here to add love, respect, and a steady seat at the table. As a team, we’ll listen first, and love big.”
8) Bilingual touch (English + Spanish)
“Te elijo hoy y cada día. I promise to make space for your roots and mine. Te cuidaré en la calma y en la tormenta. I’ll speak with kindness, even when I’m tired. Somos casa.”
9) Super short (for shaky hands)
“I love you. I trust you. I’m in. Today, tomorrow, and the quiet days between.”
10) Vow renewal (five years in)
“We learned the shape of each other’s morning. We learned how to fight fair and fold sheets without cursing (mostly). I’d say yes again with both hands. I promise new dates, new jokes, and the same soft landing.”
Planning your own redo? I road-tested six fresh takes in this vow renewal idea breakdown.
11) Funny, but lands soft
“I promise to keep a spare charger