Quick take: Funny vows worked for us. Big laughs. Big hearts. A few hiccups. I’d do it again.
Why I went funny
I’m Kayla, and I like jokes that feel warm, not mean. My partner, Max, laughs with his whole face. We both write for work, so words matter. A heavy, serious vow didn’t feel like us. We wanted joy. We wanted our people to breathe. Also, I’m a nervous talker. Laughs help me not shake like a leaf.
For extra inspiration, I dove into The Knot’s roundup of funny wedding vows and scribbled down the lines that made me snort-laugh the loudest.
Here’s the thing: you can be sweet and silly at the same time. It’s not either/or. It’s both.
Reading another bride’s candid breakdown of her own off-beat promises on VT Vows convinced me I wasn’t alone in wanting the comedy angle.
What it felt like on the day
We stood under a simple arch. There was a light breeze. The lapel mic squeaked once—classic. Our DJ lowered it fast. Our officiant smiled; she had a copy of our vows, just in case I blanked. I didn’t. Well… I almost did on the “spider” line. My best friend coughed a laugh, and that saved me.
I could see my mom’s shoulders drop. People leaned in. Our photographer caught my grandma snort-laugh. That photo is on our fridge now. Every morning, it cheers me up.
What worked (and what didn’t)
- What worked: A quick joke right at the start. It broke the ice.
- What worked: Tying the humor to real stuff we do, like late-night tacos, lost socks, and our loud kettle.
- What worked: Short lines. One idea at a time.
- What didn’t: Inside jokes no one knew. We cut those after a test read.
- What didn’t: Jokes that felt mean. If it stings, skip it.
- What kind of worked: A call-and-response bit. Cute, but the wind ate one line. Outdoors, keep it bold.
Real vow lines we used (steal them if you like)
I used these. Word for word or close enough. Keep the ones that fit you.
A massive assist came from Brides’ mega-list of funny wedding vows, which proved that sweet and silly can live in the same sentence.
- I promise to love you even when you leave the fridge open like it’s a museum.
- I vow to share my fries. Even the curly ones. Even the last one.
- I promise to be your human Lyft after two margaritas.
- I vow to kill the spider, or at least cheer while you do it.
- I promise to laugh at your jokes… unless they’re about spreadsheets. Then I’ll nod kindly.
- I vow to always check the door twice, because we both know Past Us is forgetful.
- I promise to make the bed on my side. The rest is a team sport.
- I vow to hold your hand during scary movies, even when the villain is just a wind chime.
- I promise to order one more sauce. Because life is better saucy.
- I vow to keep dancing with you, even when the DJ plays the clean version and it sounds weird.
- I promise to say “I’m sorry” faster, not louder.
- I vow to save you the good pillow. On most nights.
- I promise to cheer for your wins, and bring snacks for your losses.
- I vow to carry the heavy bag at the grocery store. Yes, the one with the milk and the oranges.
- I promise to remind you where you left your keys, even when I moved them.
As I was gathering inspiration, I spent an afternoon scrolling VT Vows and found it overflowing with punchy examples that helped shape our own list.
You can tweak the nouns. Swap fries for nuggets. Swap spiders for laundry piles. It still lands.
My mini vows (about 60–90 seconds)
Here’s a set I read, trimmed and tested. It fit well in a small backyard ceremony.
“Max, I love you bigger than our coffee habit. I promise to share my fries and my blanket, but not my hoodies—I’ll offer them and then take them back.
I vow to keep showing up when days feel long, and to leave notes on the mirror when days feel short. I promise to laugh at your dad jokes and to ask you to explain the weird ones.
I’ll hold your hand in crowds, and your heart in quiet. I’ll charge your phone when it’s on 3%. I’ll cheer for your weird ideas, and say ‘maybe’ when you say ‘hear me out.’
I promise to fight fair, to listen, and to say ‘I’m sorry’ without a speech. I’ll keep a spare charger in my bag for both of us. I’ll save the good pillow for you—most nights.
I choose you today, tomorrow, and on laundry day. I love you. Also, yes, I’ll try the new salsa first.”
People laughed. People cried a little. It felt honest, which is the point.
Tips that actually helped
- Read them out loud. Twice. The tongue tells the truth.
- Keep it under 2 minutes. Short feels strong.
- Balance sweet and silly. Think 70/30.
- Test with one friend who gets your tone. Not the whole group chat.
- Check the mic at rehearsal. Wind eats words.
- Ask your officiant for guardrails. Some venues have rules.
- Print a big-font copy. Hands shake. Big letters help.
If you and your partner are long-distance for any chunk of the engagement, try a quick video run-through together. A no-download platform like InstantChat’s free cam-to-cam room lets you pop in, hit record, and hear whether the jokes land on the other side of the screen, all without juggling Zoom links or account log-ins.
You know what? A timer helped me most. I used my phone and stood by my sink. If I made it through before the kettle screamed, I was good.
Pros and cons from my day
Pros:
- Fun energy. Folks stayed with us.
- Clear voice. Jokes slowed me down, so I didn’t rush.
- Great photos and video. Smiles look real, because they were.
Cons:
- One line didn’t land. I paused, smiled, and moved on.
- A tiny worry about older guests. We kept it clean, and it was fine.
- Needed more practice than serious vows, oddly. Comedy has rhythm.
Who should try funny vows
- You like to laugh together.
- Your families know your style.
- Your venue is chill about tone.
Who might skip it:
- Very formal or strict spaces.
- One of you hates public humor.
- You want a full church vibe with classic text only.
Both paths are lovely. It’s your day.
Planning a cheeky joint stag-and-hen night in Camden to blow off some steam before the big day? If you want everyone—including trans friends—to feel welcome and safe, you can browse this directory of trans-friendly escorts in Camden for vetted professionals who often know the most inclusive late-night venues and can offer guidance on navigating the local scene.
If you’re leaning toward a faith-forward script, you might like this roundup of Christian wedding vows with real examples that still feel personal and heartfelt.
Final thought
Funny vows are not about being a stand-up comic. They’re about true love with a wink. If you keep it kind, keep it short, and keep it you, the laughs make space for the tears.
And if all else fails? Promise to share the fries. Works every time.